HIVE (or why god doesn't care)

by Cormac Foster Morrison

"Accept, for the sake of argument," John thinks to himself, "that in any conversation about the true nature of God, human language is hopelessly inadequate for any job of definition--that even the most nuanced, layered intellect gets lost, inside of a few seconds, in the hive of God's being--though human language is all we have and therefore the only tool we can employ."

"And by human language we of course mean the sum total of human existence--language, culture, gesture, thought..."

"Culture includes music, painting...?"

"Well of course, yes. Everything."

"So we're talking about everything. Anything a man can come up with to express himself, even a conscious act of NOT expressing himself..."

"...for a purpose, say..."

"Right, NOT expressing himself for a reason..."

"...And thus, in effect, expressing himself anyway..."

"ANYTHING. It's all inadequate and yet it doesn't stop us from thinking about it all, albeit in terms deficient to the task; dismally and wretchedly deficient."

"Got it."

"OK, so I'm there in God's presence. Again, for the sake of argument. How I got there and even where 'there' might actually be is..."

"Delusive?"

"What does that mean again?"

"Tending to delude, mislead..."

"I don't think it's delusive, no."

"Demeaning? Demented? Dematerializing?"

"OK, we're getting off the point here. You get what I mean. So I'm with God, right? And he knows why I'm there and that I want to say something. So God says, employing some name for me that he has that just, you know, speaks to me, the name that is. The NAME is the word that only God knows is the very essence of me, TO me. He knows that this name, whatever it is, let's call it X for the sake of argument, is the one name that, when used, will leave no ambiguity to ME about whom and to whom God is speaking in that moment, provided that I'm present. And, of course, if God is using that name, why wouldn't I then, almost by definition, be present."

"What does God say?"

"Right, God says: 'X, you may speak'"

"So you have his permission."

"Right. And in that very moment, I think 'Why does God even care to hear what I have to say?' Doesn't he already know what I'm going to say? Hasn't he heard it all already? So what's the point of saying it? And that's just it. There is no point. Not to God. He's not even interested in just hearing it for the amusement of watching me experience the saying of it on the plane of my own universe. You know, like you might be AMUSED by hearing a song you've heard a million times before, so many times that you can sing the lyrics in your sleep. You. You might find the experience of that song again to be an amusement. But God? Why would he?"

"It's an interesting question. A paradox, you might say."

"And, thus and so, as such, you have to unwind it."

"Unwind."

"God wouldn't say 'X, you may speak,' because God doesn't want to hear it. Because God's not even there. For the sake of argument, and human existence, GOD doesn't exist. Not as a practical matter. It's just us."

"You and me."

"Mental masturbation."

"Mental what?"

"Masturbation."

"Like, jerking off all crazy and shit?"

"No, your brain."

"You lost me."

"Forget it."