ELEGIES, EULOGIES AND ODES

by Rory Friedersdorf

There's this line from a movie:

"He was my north, my south, my east and west;
my working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong."

It was from a funeral--the movie line that is. I think the person in the movie was quoting a poet. The only other bit that I remember is that "O Captain, my Captain" stuff from Dead Poet's Society. I found out that it was from a poem by Walt Whitman about Abraham Lincoln. I looked it up. I read once that when you give a eulogy that the thing to remember is concentric circles. You speak first and foremost to the people closest to the person that died. Be careful not to wave out too far because then what you say becomes less and less relevant and less meaningful overall.

My mother always said that when Tip O'Neill (who lived down the street from us) said that "all politics is local" that he was really talking about life. Her point was that the only real differences you can make are ones that make the world immediately around you better. I suppose the same applies in reverse. Just ask my Dad. Ask my Aunt Donna. Whatever you do, though, don't ask my sister Mickey. The only advice you'll get from her is something about bygones. That was some eulogy she gave--her circles went all the way to the back of the church, pressing against the stained glass, tickling the noses of the saints. Her version of Mom forced her in there among Peter and Paul, crowding out robes and beards in favor of a pant suit and a martini.