Wow, nice ass.  Bicycle pants.  You don't see women wearing bicycle pants that often.  At least I don't.  And not this early in the morning.  I actually knew a female bike messenger once.  She had a pretty nice body - fit, you know, but nothing really sexy about it though--like not anything you would fantasize about.  Not like this ass here.  And maybe it's the way she's pulling at the Spandex, adjusting it there standing at the phone booth.  Not many phone booths anymore and none really used as phones either.  Like this chick here, using it as a changing room.  Is she getting changed?  Did I miss an even better show earlier?  Like pulling these pants up over onto a bare ass?  Man, look at the way she's smoothing the material across the cheeks.  That's right baby, make it nice and tight.  Look, even that woman in the bank window is checking it out.  I always found it funny these people with their desks basically right on the sidewalk except behind a window.  Must be weird to have people watching you work all day long.  Fucking tourists traipsing by the window on the way to take another picture of the fucking tree, just looking over your shoulder at the spreadsheets.  And weird that tree, right--how popular it is?  Like a city as amazing as NYC and the tree is a destination.  It IS a nice one though this year but why is it I always feel bad for the tree?  How do people just give a tree in their yard up for sacrifice?  Man, I wish she would turn around a little so I can get a better look at what else besides the ass she's got going on.  Just let someone come along and cut a tree that's been around for, what, 100 years down?  The only upside for the tree I guess is that it becomes "the most famous Christmas tree in the world."  I wonder if the tree finds that a consolation.  I wonder if, given the choice, the tree would opt for death knowing that it would be famous in death - and beloved even, and become the background to hundreds of thousands of pictures in photo albums - OUR CHRISTMAS TRIP TO NYC!!!  What's with this bank woman - what's her problem?  Fucking women - so catty and jealous of each other.  Can't let a hot chick strut her stuff a little without being a hater.  What if the shoe was on the other foot and it was the trees that controlled everything and all we did was photosynthesize carbon monoxide all day long or whatever trees do.  And the trees had some annual celebration where they took a human and propped his dead body in their public square, hung lights on him and took pictures for a month before grinding him up into mulch.  What human would opt for that honor?  I think there might be a few takers.  A blaze of glory after all as opposed to the slow march downward to an undignified end.  Maybe it's sounding a little attractive?  Live fast and die young and be the center of tree attention for a moment?  Well, I know for me, I take too much pleasure in this life.  Like this woman here in the bike pants.  Who would ever want to give it all up when there's this to look at?


Wait.....


OK - full disclosure time.  I'm a block away now looking at the damned tree.  Turns out the bank woman wasn't far off.  I didn't catch the curly grey hair coming out of that skinny MAN'S (that's right, it's a man baby) bike helmet.  Grey hair because my hot chick was actually an old MAN with a nice ass but clearly not my kind of ass it turns out.  Either way, no big deal.  The big deal is that old man - he didn't really look like a crazy man or, like, homeless or anything like that - anyway the big deal is the reason he was in the phone booth was because he was fucking the phone for some reason.  He's standing there with his wrinkly pecker stuck in the coin return slot, like banging the phone.  Jeez - never mind the gaddamm Christmas tree, what about the phone?  How do you think the phone feels?