Just Say No

Some long gone literary figure, or some hollywood actress, once said something like "you define yourself in life by the things you say no to, more than the things you say yes to".  Well, that happens to be true. But not exactly.

I just say no about a hundred times a day.
I see people waiting for the bus, and choosing to read some trashy, utterly forgettable book - not trashy in the way of a romance novel full of tawdry, selfish lust and of course, brilliantly coloured pirate costumes, but some towering self help skyscraper of stacked up, meaningless words constructed to create a happiness that they can never find, not without buying more of these books, and listening for the God-guru which exists outside of themselves (or so they think).
I just say no.
Fake TV news and vapid escapist television in general - don't they see how it's the stockholm syndrome in the white lies of light pounding their skulls so hard, their eyes glaze over and they are literally soul-stolen during, after and before the next merry go round ride into intellectual oblivion? Governments wouldn't be around if they couldn't train us so easily, to see nothing but the orgiastic barrage of dead images sucking our spirit from our eye lights, and causing us to refuse to hear the bird outside the window, or smell the sea we've turned our backs on.
I do not choose that.
Some people find comfort in living off cell phone conversations, like amoeba to parasite, one immobilized organism lacking connection connecting uselessly with another, divvying up brain cells like dead sailors, piled up at the dock neatly by the ocean's waves which we cannot see.  All the candles blown out at once.
I say nay repeatedly.
The same people giving into themselves, and that massive, giant Fear which forces them to fill in silences with talk- rumoured, petty talk about other people vs. the next level of knowing, about things, and then about ideas, which can only represent through words those languages with which we cannot name anything worth uttering - that mystery which is so far from us as it is, is not delighted in, but strapped to the ground and buried in tainted words, which simply inflate the ropes and knots, so that they feel they can get a handle on this reality....pushing the beauty of that other farther and farther away...
I want no part of that.
I see further crimes on the subway, the streets, on walking feet and public and private transportation....gazing into ads, in magazines, on the radio, on the walls of the train, nestled casually into giant billboards of peeling paint, paint peeling around our tired eyes and swollen brains, they make love to these ads, thinking of someone else and crying "no, baby, I love you as you are.  Maybe you could lose a few pounds, though...I'm just saying..." and let the thick images cut down their creative sense of self. Self without needing more, wanting more, buying and consuming more.
I shout NO to wanting more.
To that namely American idea that you are more important than the others, the ones you deem less, and deserve out of purely undeserved entitlement (and to those same who tell their children that they are little geniuses who will also wear that musty crown stinking of entitlement as they body grows into the most rotten, weak trees which cast off other trees in their so called achievement of awakening).
I say Fuck No.
To those who fall aside, spineless and enslaved, to the ego, and allow the same Ego to find reasons to be fearful about the future, about what went wrong in past, watching like spectators while these gangs of insecurity and control thoughts fight it out-
I banish them to the back room where they can drown each other in their collective brain inducing vomit.  In other words, No.
While they're at this game, they should be sure to take every sexual impulse felt and categorize where it must land, where it needs to hide, when it needs to diversify itself so that it is not allowed to be a part of themselves, god forbid a complete human being.  They would rather live parallel lives, call these sexual children deviants and encourage each of the hypocrisies they push out from the insides of their brain to be loud, false and make its own point, and hopefully shame themselves and others along the way.
My body and its mental double say No to this foolhardy idea.  Haven't they seen what it's done to the world?
While they are at these activities, their best ghosts force down every gut instinct into something more civilized partly in order to fulfill the above mentioned entitlement idea.  They could never love anything completely, lest it/he/she takes your vulnerability.  Diving off the deep end is the only way to see the depths and rise above the whirlpools found in certain empty constellations which were, unfortunately, born into us.
I say to those shallow footsteps retreating from the cliff- No, thank you.
The idea that a supposed job or career, as most have it nowadays, defines you and moulds you and offers you protection and result, is a mirror most of the world should smash up and dance around the severed shards of, if they ever want to escape the bars of poverty, of their minds not allowed to grow behind the black brick wall built into their loneliest perimeters, the mirror sunglasses and cocked guns of their own prison guards keeping them there, in jobs and the idea of the need.
No, but of course, no.
The workday ends, the evening closes and no one senses the wind changing direction, or the flock of angry birds flying away from us, complaining the entire way and shitting on our compartmentalized heads.  The heads of those for whom it is not enough to be quiet, or loud with a true voice unabashed, in the golden glory of breathing completely, of allowing silence in the world to envelop you, as you are, the best you will ever and always be, turning over your God from its sleep into the soft, pliable human strands, you listening to the minor keys of the world's music, allow yourself to wish, and weep and desire your past, your future, dancing all in one bittersweet field above your eyes, behind them lies this world which is not a world, is not captured, is not owned, as you are only a guardian of your shiny particle. One in a million trillion spinning atoms coming into life in the light of the fireflies of your youth, your ever loving family, your eternal father, your lives and worlds and loves not known yet, the universes you control with only a piece of the eternal awe, managed through a wink and a revelry.
To the ones who wish to strangle those uncontrollable impulses, those wayward dreams, and that even vulnerability, so they may choose their life, as their mind demands it to be, to choose the things that will overpower this painting still just in newly creation, and give into the machine once and for all-
Again, and always, I just say No.

I say Yes to everything else.

~ M. Lucia